


And I wake Up, Alone

by ParrisRatLord173



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, I'm sad and so is Ed, M/M, Minor Isabella (Gotham)/Edward Nygma, No Fluff, Not super Graphic, wake up alone, written hella quickly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 05:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18277121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParrisRatLord173/pseuds/ParrisRatLord173
Summary: Ed never did hear the final line of the song.





	And I wake Up, Alone

**Author's Note:**

> yeet this is real angsty Idk why i wrote this in 0.2 seconds too

“He’s fierce in my dreams, seizing my guts…” The sultry voice of Amy Winehouse played over scratchy gramophone in the dark lonely mansion. Edward had gotten home early from his night with Isabella, it had been magical.

She was perfect, everything was perfect, he couldn’t wait to tell Oswald all about it. He couldn’t believe his luck, it was like she was made for him, she accepted him, she trusted him immediately. 

‘She also dressed up like miss Kringle, she tried to make you something you’re not.’

The voice in the back of his mind screamed at him, something was wrong. Miss Kringle was in every mirror, she was taunting him. Judging him. He would hurt her. 

She wouldn’t leave him alone. She wouldn’t go away.

It wouldn’t be quiet

Oswald was singing.

“He floats me with dread,” Why was Oswald singing that? He purposely put on the music and he was singing along. Surprisingly well actually, he remembered Oswald’s singing. They had sung together before and he never pictured Oswald as having the voice for a song like this but it sounded lovely.

Oswald didn’t even sound drunk or anything, why did he pick this song? Did it have to mean anything, Ed didn’t know his tastes were like this actually. They had a long discussion about classical music together and assumed they had the same tastes. Ed wouldn’t ever listen to this.

Oswald sounded sad.

“Soaked in soul, he swims in my eyes, by the bed.”

When Ed crept up the stairs, not wanting to disturb the man. He found Oswald standing up in the living room almost dancing to the music, tears were on his face as seen by the soft light of the fire. They were still streaming down his face, maybe that was why Oswald’s voice sounded the way it did while he sang. It wasn’t a natural raspy sultry voice it was the tears.

Edward’s heart lurched, who hurt Oswald? How could he kill him for doing that?

Was Oswald singing about a man?

Ed didn’t often debate his friend’s sexuality, I mean sometimes he did. In the days before Isabella, when the thought that maybe Oswald was the one would pass through his mind. That was impossible though, Ed wasn’t gay. Edward assumed Oswald was gay, what with the odd infatuation with one Jim Gordon, not to mention his looks, he was a bit stereotypical. 

He never believed Oswald one to say it outright, they didn’t often discuss their thoughts on romance. Except when Ed had gotten a girlfriend. Maybe they had grown more distant since? It hurt Ed to think that, he didn’t want to shut out his friend for Isabella.

“Pouring myself over him,”

Was this song about sex or dreams? Ed couldn’t tell.

“Moon, spilling in.”

Edward came into the room just as Oswald wiped his eyes and sniffed,

He never finished the last line of the song.

“And I wake up, alone.” the voice on the record sung her final notes, Oswald didn’t. He looked up at his friend.

“Ed how was your date?” He put on a fake smile, Ed knew that now. Oswald couldn’t fake it the mascara lines still smudged his face, his voice was horse, he couldn’t pretend he wasn’t feeling the way he was.

“Oswald are you okay?

“I’m fine Ed, just a bit emotional.” Oswald let out a shuddering sigh. Ed’s heart lurched as he gently embraced his friend, “I’ll always be there for you if you need me, Oswald.” He said rubbing circles in Oswald’s back, he could feel his friend’s tears start up again and all thoughts of Isabella left his mind. Oswald mattered a lot more right now.

 

“And I wake up, alone.”

Ed couldn’t do it. He couldn’t hear it. It was too much. He had never heard Oswald finish the line when he was real he couldn’t let this one finish it for him. He was dead he would never really hear the end.

“Enough!”

Ed screamed slamming his hands down on the table, anything to make it stop. He didn’t need a visual on all he missed, his every mistake.

He had loved Oswald. Even then. It was too late now. Oswald was gone. 

Ed knew now, he was singing the song about him. It was all his fucking fault.

“I admit that killing you killed a part of me!” His voice shook and threatened to crack, he couldn’t let that happen. He was talking to the fucking air, nothing more than a figure of his own drug-induced hallucinations.

What was wrong with him?

Why couldn’t he let go?

“But I will be born anew! And I will leave you behind!”

He didn’t want to leave Oswald behind, his best friend, the only one who saw him for who he truly was. The only one who ever deserved his riddles. He did need him. He couldn’t do this.

He wanted to pull the once sultry and handsome hallucination in and smother him, kissing and biting. But it wasn’t real. Looking at his dead, slimy hallucination. The worst version of him, the one where you could see the water damage, the glassy eyes, the hatred.

There wasn’t any love in them anymore. 

Oswald would never look at him like that ever again.

The song haunted him, it wasn’ the first time his hallucination had pulled something like this. He tried to ignore it every time but it never worked. One time he had gotten so close, Ed was ready to do something when he disappeared. It got worse every time.

This Oswald just glared in pure hatred, Ed tried glaring back but all he felt was sick with regret.

It was too late now, he’d never hear the final line of that song from his friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Not detailed, not poetic, just a disaster, like me.


End file.
